62 Comments
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Heart Unshackled's avatar

I have no words. I'm glad you've found happiness

Ros Barber's avatar

These are perfectly good words. Thank you.

Lisa Baker's avatar

Ros, I think you showed great strength and courage in leaving your ex and not being bullied by him. Choosing yourself and then choosing love with your new husband is a very happy ending. It seems as though your published books are the cherry on top 🍒

Ros Barber's avatar

Thank you, Lisa. It was damn hard getting out of that first marriage, but I knew if I stayed I would die, so there really wasn't a choice about being courageous and getting through it. I'm so glad I finally got to have books published at the end of all that.

Lisa Baker's avatar

I understand, but I also think you're selling yourself short. Some women don't leave and they die. I'm not judging anyone, I'm just noting that it's a difficult situation that doesn't always end well.

Ros Barber's avatar

Yeah, I know. I didn’t want to be one of those. There are also those who leave and get killed by their exes. The most dangerous time is just after you leave, which is why so many stay. That and lack of options.

C J's avatar

Ros, reading your stories always makes me breathe harder. I never know how the story is going to end. I was very completely, partially, perhaps, totally, maybe convinced that he was going to strangle you with his skirt and drown you under the waterfall. The words, "Silver anniversary" was no where in my purview.

You are a good writer. And I am second-handedly thankful for the life you now live.

Ros Barber's avatar

Thank you, CJ. That’s a lovely compliment.

Darla Anderson's avatar

Amazing that you survived all the craziness. But you found a companion to love and to grow with. Miraculous.

Ros Barber's avatar

It is, Darla! It felt miraculous at the time, and that we've survived together all this time is a double miracle.

John Meredith's avatar

Congrats on reaching your Silver Anniversary, Ros! Your husband is a very fortunate guy, and I drink healths to you both, five-fathom deep (Mercutio). Here's to a manifestation of miracles of the literary kind! Somewhere in the ether, Mary is pulling for you.

Ros Barber's avatar

Thank you, John! He tells me he's very fortunate all the time, which is great, because on that Costa Rican retreat they asked us to make a list (separately) of what we wanted from the relationship and the number one item on mine (something of a reaction to my first marriage) was "to be appreciated"! Looking forward to my next miracle.

Rebecca Bonnington's avatar

Women and girls still aren’t believed. We’re labelled as emotional, paranoid or plain crazy and yet our instincts are usually spot on. Thank you for writing. I donate every month to Women’s Refuge and I’m a trustee of the Women’s Fund for Scotland. 💜

Nettyoj's avatar

That necklace is beautiful. What a special man. Thank you for sharing your story xxx

Ros Barber's avatar

Thank you for reading it!

NancyEllen's avatar

I can’t imagine the roiling emotions churning through you during the time you were extricating yourself from your first marriage. I’m not sure I would have been brave enough to try again. I’m glad the second time was the charm.

Ros Barber's avatar

I was pretty surprised about the second time myself, NancyEllen. I had sworn I wouldn't let *any* man get that close to me again; definitely wasn't going to marry. And then I experienced something I'd never experienced before (that feeling of being soul-to-soul-connected with another human being, that first week in Costa Rica) and I had to trust that it was real and go with it.

NancyEllen's avatar

Trusting your gut paid off.

CG Karas's avatar

Stalking is no joke. 1st wife and I I went through 2 years of it after we were married. Revenge was part of the motive. An old roommate of hers. I was out of my mind for a time. Not very popular with friends and coworkers either. Very brave writing

Ros Barber's avatar

Thank you, Carl. Not even the first time I've been stalked, but definitely the scariest.

Geoff Wakelam's avatar

Amazing story. Happy anniversary.

Ros Barber's avatar

Thank you, Geoff.

Chris D's avatar

Quite a journey.

Ros Barber's avatar

It was indeed, Chris.

Sigrid's avatar

Ros, the algorithm brought me to you and I read this, heart pounding and tears in my eyes. Thank you so much for sharing your story. We have so much work to do to move the dial on gender based violence, which is only increasing 🕊️☮️ as a result of war and politics. Thank you again 🫶🏼💞

Ros Barber's avatar

Thank you, Sigrid. I’m so glad the algorithm brought you here. The increase in violence against us is so alarming. Many women are withdrawing completely from dating, which makes total sense; it has become so exhausting and dangerous.

Shoni's avatar

Oh, I just got the notification that my subscription is rolling around soon. Definitely keeping this one going! Your journey has been remarkable and your writing is a shining example of the fruits of years of toil at the craft. Keep it up!

Ros Barber's avatar

I appreciate this so much, Shoni 💜

Coco Sea's avatar

Congratulations 🎊

Unwritten Social Rules's avatar

Great writing! What's your favourite thing you've ever written?

Ros Barber's avatar

That would have to be my as yet unpublished novel, number 3! But until that gets out into the world, the answer to this question has to be my debut novel, The Marlowe Papers. It’s very different from this, though!

Apoorvaa S Raghavan's avatar

Reading this, I’m reminded how often the outside world judges timelines and decisions without knowing the weight someone is carrying. I’m so glad you found happiness ♥️