Ros, I think you showed great strength and courage in leaving your ex and not being bullied by him. Choosing yourself and then choosing love with your new husband is a very happy ending. It seems as though your published books are the cherry on top 🍒
Thank you, Lisa. It was damn hard getting out of that first marriage, but I knew if I stayed I would die, so there really wasn't a choice about being courageous and getting through it. I'm so glad I finally got to have books published at the end of all that.
I understand, but I also think you're selling yourself short. Some women don't leave and they die. I'm not judging anyone, I'm just noting that it's a difficult situation that doesn't always end well.
Yeah, I know. I didn’t want to be one of those. There are also those who leave and get killed by their exes. The most dangerous time is just after you leave, which is why so many stay. That and lack of options.
Stalking is no joke. 1st wife and I I went through 2 years of it after we were married. Revenge was part of the motive. An old roommate of hers. I was out of my mind for a time. Not very popular with friends and coworkers either. Very brave writing
Congrats on reaching your Silver Anniversary, Ros! Your husband is a very fortunate guy, and I drink healths to you both, five-fathom deep (Mercutio). Here's to a manifestation of miracles of the literary kind! Somewhere in the ether, Mary is pulling for you.
Thank you, John! He tells me he's very fortunate all the time, which is great, because on that Costa Rican retreat they asked us to make a list (separately) of what we wanted from the relationship and the number one item on mine (something of a reaction to my first marriage) was "to be appreciated"! Looking forward to my next miracle.
Ros, reading your stories always makes me breathe harder. I never know how the story is going to end. I was very completely, partially, perhaps, totally, maybe convinced that he was going to strangle you with his skirt and drown you under the waterfall. The words, "Silver anniversary" was no where in my purview.
You are a good writer. And I am second-handedly thankful for the life you now live.
I can’t imagine the roiling emotions churning through you during the time you were extricating yourself from your first marriage. I’m not sure I would have been brave enough to try again. I’m glad the second time was the charm.
I was pretty surprised about the second time myself, NancyEllen. I had sworn I wouldn't let *any* man get that close to me again; definitely wasn't going to marry. And then I experienced something I'd never experienced before (that feeling of being soul-to-soul-connected with another human being, that first week in Costa Rica) and I had to trust that it was real and go with it.
Oh, I just got the notification that my subscription is rolling around soon. Definitely keeping this one going! Your journey has been remarkable and your writing is a shining example of the fruits of years of toil at the craft. Keep it up!
Your story of domestic violence is heartbreaking but the powerful courage you harnessed is inspiring. Cheers to you for finding the light! May you never back down and always search for the happy ending in life. And a huge congrats on you silver anniversary!! A toast to both of you. :)
I read a brilliant bit of social research a while back that said by far, above anything else, the most accurate “predictor” of how a marriage is going to pan out is the facial expressions of the couple in their wedding photos. Over the years I’ve never seen a wedding photo that disapproved this research and yours is no exception. As an aside I knew obviously how hot you are and were but dear god woman look at your man!
Anyone who's gone through a divorce, even an amicable one, has felt deep pain somewhere along the line - your refusal to be gaslighted and criminally threatened over long periods is tough reading, but inspiring and a good cautionary tale for many. How many partners, mainly women, have been unable to face similar threats? Hugs, Ros.
Thanks, Phoebe. Oh, so many women just can't get past the threats. I know someone who has been in an abusive relationship for almost 50 years. Nearly left him twice. Didn't quite make it, and now... I guess she never will. It really hurts to see it.
Ros, I think you showed great strength and courage in leaving your ex and not being bullied by him. Choosing yourself and then choosing love with your new husband is a very happy ending. It seems as though your published books are the cherry on top 🍒
Thank you, Lisa. It was damn hard getting out of that first marriage, but I knew if I stayed I would die, so there really wasn't a choice about being courageous and getting through it. I'm so glad I finally got to have books published at the end of all that.
I understand, but I also think you're selling yourself short. Some women don't leave and they die. I'm not judging anyone, I'm just noting that it's a difficult situation that doesn't always end well.
Yeah, I know. I didn’t want to be one of those. There are also those who leave and get killed by their exes. The most dangerous time is just after you leave, which is why so many stay. That and lack of options.
I have no words. I'm glad you've found happiness
These are perfectly good words. Thank you.
Stalking is no joke. 1st wife and I I went through 2 years of it after we were married. Revenge was part of the motive. An old roommate of hers. I was out of my mind for a time. Not very popular with friends and coworkers either. Very brave writing
Thank you, Carl. Not even the first time I've been stalked, but definitely the scariest.
Amazing that you survived all the craziness. But you found a companion to love and to grow with. Miraculous.
It is, Darla! It felt miraculous at the time, and that we've survived together all this time is a double miracle.
Amazing story. Happy anniversary.
Thank you, Geoff.
Congrats on reaching your Silver Anniversary, Ros! Your husband is a very fortunate guy, and I drink healths to you both, five-fathom deep (Mercutio). Here's to a manifestation of miracles of the literary kind! Somewhere in the ether, Mary is pulling for you.
Thank you, John! He tells me he's very fortunate all the time, which is great, because on that Costa Rican retreat they asked us to make a list (separately) of what we wanted from the relationship and the number one item on mine (something of a reaction to my first marriage) was "to be appreciated"! Looking forward to my next miracle.
Quite a journey.
It was indeed, Chris.
Ros, reading your stories always makes me breathe harder. I never know how the story is going to end. I was very completely, partially, perhaps, totally, maybe convinced that he was going to strangle you with his skirt and drown you under the waterfall. The words, "Silver anniversary" was no where in my purview.
You are a good writer. And I am second-handedly thankful for the life you now live.
Thank you, CJ. That’s a lovely compliment.
I can’t imagine the roiling emotions churning through you during the time you were extricating yourself from your first marriage. I’m not sure I would have been brave enough to try again. I’m glad the second time was the charm.
I was pretty surprised about the second time myself, NancyEllen. I had sworn I wouldn't let *any* man get that close to me again; definitely wasn't going to marry. And then I experienced something I'd never experienced before (that feeling of being soul-to-soul-connected with another human being, that first week in Costa Rica) and I had to trust that it was real and go with it.
Trusting your gut paid off.
Oh, I just got the notification that my subscription is rolling around soon. Definitely keeping this one going! Your journey has been remarkable and your writing is a shining example of the fruits of years of toil at the craft. Keep it up!
I appreciate this so much, Shoni 💜
Your story of domestic violence is heartbreaking but the powerful courage you harnessed is inspiring. Cheers to you for finding the light! May you never back down and always search for the happy ending in life. And a huge congrats on you silver anniversary!! A toast to both of you. :)
Thank you, Rachel!
Oh! This was yours! I read it recently and really appreciated it.
Thanks, Chali. 💜
I read a brilliant bit of social research a while back that said by far, above anything else, the most accurate “predictor” of how a marriage is going to pan out is the facial expressions of the couple in their wedding photos. Over the years I’ve never seen a wedding photo that disapproved this research and yours is no exception. As an aside I knew obviously how hot you are and were but dear god woman look at your man!
I’ve just read him your comment, Donna, and it’s made his day!
😄
❣️ so glad you persevered....
Me too, Sara!
What a beautiful photo of you two. 🫶🏻 so glad you found each other. 🥰
Thank you, Elaine. Me too.
Anyone who's gone through a divorce, even an amicable one, has felt deep pain somewhere along the line - your refusal to be gaslighted and criminally threatened over long periods is tough reading, but inspiring and a good cautionary tale for many. How many partners, mainly women, have been unable to face similar threats? Hugs, Ros.
Thanks, Phoebe. Oh, so many women just can't get past the threats. I know someone who has been in an abusive relationship for almost 50 years. Nearly left him twice. Didn't quite make it, and now... I guess she never will. It really hurts to see it.