Wow Ros!! Raw power and clinical analysis. Thank you for speaking this awkward truth.
I have seen the quote in other articles about sexism in book choice and find this hard to accept - I may well be weird but I don’t think I have ever considered the sex of the author when choosing a book: it’s down to cover design, the synopsis on the back, sometimes a few pages (partly to check font size for my aging eyes) but never “a wifie wrote this so it’ll be shite!”
First, congratulations about your book. We are looking forward to reading it! Thank you for having the courage to publish it on Substack. I'm excited to read it in serial form.
Second, while sad, it is expected that some men are struggling with women seeking equality. Thank you for writing about men's responsibility in this struggle.
Patriarchy harms men as much as it does women. I believe that feminism also includes working to eliminate oppression and harm of all of us--women and men.
Jackson Katz, whose work includes "Tough Guise: Men, Violence, and the Crisis in Masculinity," is among the men trying to teach, help fix, these broken men. It can be done, but social change is a slow process.
Finally, I don't think the men who are holding onto these traditional ideas don't understand we cannot go back. They seem not to know or understand history.
Yup. No disagreement here. It's on us to remind subsequent generations o' men (and each other) to behave better and that it's not to hard to figure out what women want. Just ask 'em. The good ones'll tell ya'. At high volume. 😏 If yer afeared a'doin' that, then there are huge sections of every library devoted to women's fantasies and women's fiction if ya' care enoof to try a wee bit o' effort. I myself have found readin' it insightful, even after more'n three decades o' marriage and rearin' a now-adult daughter.
But. We could use some help, too, on imagining the other. I lost count of number of women who've told me that they'd never read a romance or any woman's point of view written by a man, yet we're expected to not react the same way if the roles are reversed?
[No, I don't know why his inner leprechaun emerged here. His ancestors haven't lived on the island for three generations. —ed.]
Insightful as always. I've written two pieces the last two days, one short, one long, both of which are about choice and maturity. The heavenly archetypes are shifting and aligning. How far can that reach, I wonder? How far will that pendulum swing back?
I am constantly asking men to stand up to their buddies when their buddies are being crude, hateful and sexualizing women of all ages. As you stated, the men have to fix this. 100% Full Stop
WOW! And I agree. I believe women are red in the face, meaning burned out in speaking about what needs to seen. At times if feel like we are, I am only speaking to the choir. Men have to carry this torch to other men and pass the light on. This is the call. Will they take it?
This reminded me of the Maisie Williams quotation I recently saw (although it's a few years old):
"I feel like we should stop calling feminists 'feminists' and just start calling people who aren't feminist 'sexist'. You are either a normal person or a sexist."
I'd be more than happy to raise my voice in support of women, and perhaps I'll try, on here, but as my recent attempts to promote my novel have shown, no one pays any attention to what I say! Still, you never know until you try (although I suspect most men on Substack belong to the 20% anyway. Youtube might be more fruitful, I suppose).
Wow Ros!! Raw power and clinical analysis. Thank you for speaking this awkward truth.
I have seen the quote in other articles about sexism in book choice and find this hard to accept - I may well be weird but I don’t think I have ever considered the sex of the author when choosing a book: it’s down to cover design, the synopsis on the back, sometimes a few pages (partly to check font size for my aging eyes) but never “a wifie wrote this so it’ll be shite!”
I tend to go the opposite way - I'm generally less likely to read a book by a man! If only to correct my unconscious youthful bias.
Loved your post. You nailed it! I can't wait for your book. I love historical stuff especially about women
First, congratulations about your book. We are looking forward to reading it! Thank you for having the courage to publish it on Substack. I'm excited to read it in serial form.
Second, while sad, it is expected that some men are struggling with women seeking equality. Thank you for writing about men's responsibility in this struggle.
Patriarchy harms men as much as it does women. I believe that feminism also includes working to eliminate oppression and harm of all of us--women and men.
Jackson Katz, whose work includes "Tough Guise: Men, Violence, and the Crisis in Masculinity," is among the men trying to teach, help fix, these broken men. It can be done, but social change is a slow process.
Finally, I don't think the men who are holding onto these traditional ideas don't understand we cannot go back. They seem not to know or understand history.
Every word bang on. One of the paradoxes of desirable 21st century masculinity is that modesty is one of its chief virtues but it’s also one of the quietest. It’s of course on men to raise boys, whether their own or not, to understand that taking responsibility is not the same as taking control. https://counselofperfection.substack.com/p/boy-oh-boy-on-wholesome-masculinity?r=7wxlo&utm_medium=ios
THE SECOND PIRATE BOOK this has made my day
Yup. No disagreement here. It's on us to remind subsequent generations o' men (and each other) to behave better and that it's not to hard to figure out what women want. Just ask 'em. The good ones'll tell ya'. At high volume. 😏 If yer afeared a'doin' that, then there are huge sections of every library devoted to women's fantasies and women's fiction if ya' care enoof to try a wee bit o' effort. I myself have found readin' it insightful, even after more'n three decades o' marriage and rearin' a now-adult daughter.
But. We could use some help, too, on imagining the other. I lost count of number of women who've told me that they'd never read a romance or any woman's point of view written by a man, yet we're expected to not react the same way if the roles are reversed?
[No, I don't know why his inner leprechaun emerged here. His ancestors haven't lived on the island for three generations. —ed.]
Congratulations and I look forward to reading your book.
Dickens was a master storyteller and promoter. Shit to his wife, too, but I’m beginning to think most famous men were shit to their wives. :(
Insightful as always. I've written two pieces the last two days, one short, one long, both of which are about choice and maturity. The heavenly archetypes are shifting and aligning. How far can that reach, I wonder? How far will that pendulum swing back?
I am constantly asking men to stand up to their buddies when their buddies are being crude, hateful and sexualizing women of all ages. As you stated, the men have to fix this. 100% Full Stop
This is an excellent read and basic blueprint for men to pick up and run with…..my jaw is hanging with the truth and power of your writing. Thank you!
WOW! And I agree. I believe women are red in the face, meaning burned out in speaking about what needs to seen. At times if feel like we are, I am only speaking to the choir. Men have to carry this torch to other men and pass the light on. This is the call. Will they take it?
This reminded me of the Maisie Williams quotation I recently saw (although it's a few years old):
"I feel like we should stop calling feminists 'feminists' and just start calling people who aren't feminist 'sexist'. You are either a normal person or a sexist."
I'd be more than happy to raise my voice in support of women, and perhaps I'll try, on here, but as my recent attempts to promote my novel have shown, no one pays any attention to what I say! Still, you never know until you try (although I suspect most men on Substack belong to the 20% anyway. Youtube might be more fruitful, I suppose).