Gosh, I know right? Several times I laughed reading this, but I know it’s not funny, it’s frustrating, but your writing is fantastic and hilarious. Like my comment in the other thread, I really think Substack is now dealing with bots. Several DMs I’ve received recently don’t even make sense, much like the example you use here (or it’s a moron — either way, it’s bad news). As maddening as this is, I’m grateful you wrote about it because I feel better when another woman voices exactly what I’m thinking, too. I know we’re not alone!
Thanks, Reda. It’s become bad everywhere else (I had a lot on both Facebook and Instagram) but upsetting it’s here too now. I’d already started writing this when the guy I screenshotted arrived.
I could barely believe it! That’s why I didn’t block him earlier, though. I really wanted to see if I could work out what was going on in his head. And see whether I could get through to him about how stupid and insulting I found it.
Let’s hope their good work continues. Block and report is key. I reported ‘Kid Rock’, ‘Elon Musk’ must have been kicked off before he got round to me 😆
As a guy, this is honestly embarrassing. I don't "slide into" anyone's DMs, but you'd think that if you have the courage and time to do so, you'd at least proof-read your messages for grammar and sentence structure... Right?
Hi, lady, how are you today? What a cool post. I laughed and laughed, and then, WHAMMO, big screeching turn on two wheels!! You're absolutely right in wondering about those DMs being similar to the rando texts we all keep getting. It's a disturbingly sound theory.
Isn't that such a great thing about writing? It's like the muse is leading (or luring?) you on to deep insights you wouldn't necessarily have unless you were writing. The subconscious is putting these things together all the time, under the radar, and writing can sometimes open that door.
Silly me thought Substack would exist as the safe place, the respectful site, the creative niche, the thinker’s hut. Now I’m on guard for these scammers and creeps. Your “Dear Lonely Man…” hit home. Humor at first and then outrage at my shattered sense of safety. I gotta go and practice my blocking skills and find a witch pic to replace my photo. Thanks for speaking out about this. I hope Substack is on it, too.
Thanks, Ginevra. This only started happening here recently. Like you, I hope Substack can do something about it. It’s just so tedious! And it’s a shame not to be able to have a normal picture of yourself and not have to be on your guard all the time.
Ros, I am so sorry you have to put up with this sh*t. I mean, I get things like this too but somehow it feels worse when (apparently) men approach women this way. Yick. I’ve had to come to terms with this shadow side of the internet coin. With the great access to everything, we also get hit with anything. Good, bad or otherwise. Sigh. Anyway, on a lighter note, here in New Zealand the weather is lovely, and my wider and I are enjoying a yum homemade coffee. Have a good week. Rob
Thanks, Rob! And thanks for commenting. I found this post a helpful way to process my thoughts / emotions about it and now I can be less annoyed, which is nice! I love your turn to the bright side, which is the best tactic for all of life’s challenges. Mr Stones (the husband) and I have a very dear friend in New Zealand but have never yet visited due to responsibilities- first children and my job and now elderlies to look after. But I hope to get there before clog-popping!
Please do. And after you’ve visited your good friends, swing by us in Tauranga for a few days. We’ll show you around and you can stay in our guest suite. How’s that?! :)
Agreed. It sort of chips away at you. Endlessly irritating. Just when I've finally reached the age that I stopped getting hassled in the street, still get hassled on the net.
OMG! If I had a nickel for every scammer! In the beginning I lead them trying to catch them. Next I said: if your wife didn’t have cancer, your daughter didn’t die in a car accident, you are not raising her children, and you don’t work for the oil industry, I might respond. Then I tell them I as SCAMMER SECURITY and they have been reported. I turned one man over to my friend that works for the State Department. He was a Chinese spy. I only wish I could turn them in somewhere.
They are looking for money. They love you immediately, want to visit you. Then their passport is ‘stolen’ and they need money to come visit you, their love. I know one woman lost her home giving $150,000. She agreed it was a scam but she was lonely and enjoyed his emails. 🤷♀️
Second: a female pirate novel! Eeee looking forward.
Third: I'm hopefully not speaking too soon, but he didn't send the dreaded picture for which no one ever asks? He's an AI trawling for something. I'm pretty sure sending unsolicited pictures of bits we'd really not like pictures of is something human males are taught when we all go to the bathroom together at a social function
There is no other explanation.
Glad to 'meet' you and look forward to reading All The Things.
Haha Claudia, what i am up to is I am falling in love with you, you are my true ideal of a woman, and now please to transfer some dollars into my account because you’re my heart’s desire and I am come to see you but my account is frozen and I will pay you back / how did I do?
It's exhausting, isn't it? I left LinkedIn because of this mess.
Yes, it’s everywhere.
Gosh, I know right? Several times I laughed reading this, but I know it’s not funny, it’s frustrating, but your writing is fantastic and hilarious. Like my comment in the other thread, I really think Substack is now dealing with bots. Several DMs I’ve received recently don’t even make sense, much like the example you use here (or it’s a moron — either way, it’s bad news). As maddening as this is, I’m grateful you wrote about it because I feel better when another woman voices exactly what I’m thinking, too. I know we’re not alone!
Thanks, Reda. It’s become bad everywhere else (I had a lot on both Facebook and Instagram) but upsetting it’s here too now. I’d already started writing this when the guy I screenshotted arrived.
That’s even crazier — you were already writing it and then a horrible example comes along! Ugh.
I could barely believe it! That’s why I didn’t block him earlier, though. I really wanted to see if I could work out what was going on in his head. And see whether I could get through to him about how stupid and insulting I found it.
I’ve noticed Elon Musk and Kid Rock no longer exist on Substack. Good. Substack is extinguishing bots.
Let’s hope their good work continues. Block and report is key. I reported ‘Kid Rock’, ‘Elon Musk’ must have been kicked off before he got round to me 😆
As a guy, this is honestly embarrassing. I don't "slide into" anyone's DMs, but you'd think that if you have the courage and time to do so, you'd at least proof-read your messages for grammar and sentence structure... Right?
Agreed. But don’t feel it reflects badly on all men. We know it’s just a small but persistent minority!
The distinction is appreciated! Though, I should've clarified that my embarrassment is mostly to do with this man's poor writing etiquette. lol
Definitely.
Hi, lady, how are you today? What a cool post. I laughed and laughed, and then, WHAMMO, big screeching turn on two wheels!! You're absolutely right in wondering about those DMs being similar to the rando texts we all keep getting. It's a disturbingly sound theory.
Thanks, Julie! I never expected it to take that turn myself, it just occurred to me when I was writing it.
Isn't that such a great thing about writing? It's like the muse is leading (or luring?) you on to deep insights you wouldn't necessarily have unless you were writing. The subconscious is putting these things together all the time, under the radar, and writing can sometimes open that door.
That’s what I love about the writing process. You described it perfectly.
This shows that you should never cross a writer!
Haha! My husband often says that...
Silly me thought Substack would exist as the safe place, the respectful site, the creative niche, the thinker’s hut. Now I’m on guard for these scammers and creeps. Your “Dear Lonely Man…” hit home. Humor at first and then outrage at my shattered sense of safety. I gotta go and practice my blocking skills and find a witch pic to replace my photo. Thanks for speaking out about this. I hope Substack is on it, too.
Thanks, Ginevra. This only started happening here recently. Like you, I hope Substack can do something about it. It’s just so tedious! And it’s a shame not to be able to have a normal picture of yourself and not have to be on your guard all the time.
You read my mind.
This old codger had a hi from a very attractive woman apparently living in Houston Texas. I think I made the mistake of saying Hi back
She asked where I was from ( Uk) then asked if I would send her a photo , sending me one.
She had no posts . I said that I couldn't see the connection with this old guy who posts about his cancer story.
Wished her well . No further contact.
Not sure what it was all about. So let it go, no worries.
I don't DM people unless invited or am DM'd
Us males need to be respectful.
Errr….I meant my wife and I. Ha!
Ros, I am so sorry you have to put up with this sh*t. I mean, I get things like this too but somehow it feels worse when (apparently) men approach women this way. Yick. I’ve had to come to terms with this shadow side of the internet coin. With the great access to everything, we also get hit with anything. Good, bad or otherwise. Sigh. Anyway, on a lighter note, here in New Zealand the weather is lovely, and my wider and I are enjoying a yum homemade coffee. Have a good week. Rob
Thanks, Rob! And thanks for commenting. I found this post a helpful way to process my thoughts / emotions about it and now I can be less annoyed, which is nice! I love your turn to the bright side, which is the best tactic for all of life’s challenges. Mr Stones (the husband) and I have a very dear friend in New Zealand but have never yet visited due to responsibilities- first children and my job and now elderlies to look after. But I hope to get there before clog-popping!
Please do. And after you’ve visited your good friends, swing by us in Tauranga for a few days. We’ll show you around and you can stay in our guest suite. How’s that?! :)
This is great, and terrible. All these unwanted DMs. No space is inviolable. I block, and block, and block. But why should I have to?
Agreed. It sort of chips away at you. Endlessly irritating. Just when I've finally reached the age that I stopped getting hassled in the street, still get hassled on the net.
I agree! Thank you.
OMG! If I had a nickel for every scammer! In the beginning I lead them trying to catch them. Next I said: if your wife didn’t have cancer, your daughter didn’t die in a car accident, you are not raising her children, and you don’t work for the oil industry, I might respond. Then I tell them I as SCAMMER SECURITY and they have been reported. I turned one man over to my friend that works for the State Department. He was a Chinese spy. I only wish I could turn them in somewhere.
A Chinese spy? WHAT? What are they getting out of us, what is the value? I don't get it.
They are looking for money. They love you immediately, want to visit you. Then their passport is ‘stolen’ and they need money to come visit you, their love. I know one woman lost her home giving $150,000. She agreed it was a scam but she was lonely and enjoyed his emails. 🤷♀️
That’s mad.
This had me spit-taking into my morning tea 🤣 Thank you for that!!!
Ros, I wish I had your electric wit and energy. You go!!
First: Ew
Second: a female pirate novel! Eeee looking forward.
Third: I'm hopefully not speaking too soon, but he didn't send the dreaded picture for which no one ever asks? He's an AI trawling for something. I'm pretty sure sending unsolicited pictures of bits we'd really not like pictures of is something human males are taught when we all go to the bathroom together at a social function
There is no other explanation.
Glad to 'meet' you and look forward to reading All The Things.
4. I'm good. What are you up to today?
Haha Claudia, what i am up to is I am falling in love with you, you are my true ideal of a woman, and now please to transfer some dollars into my account because you’re my heart’s desire and I am come to see you but my account is frozen and I will pay you back / how did I do?
🤣🤣🤣 This is great! Didn’t expect it to take this turn… give me money to visit you, darling.
Gotta love a twist!