So much in this piece, Ros. 👏🏼❤️🙏🏼I’m an inner child specialist and know well all the pains and defensive protective patterns you describe, mostly through my clients. You articulate them so well. OMG. Thank you for your vulnerability and gifts that are shared with us here❤️🙏🏼
I had a whole paragraph ready to go on how women are trained as girls to be givers rather than receivers, but in the flow of writing this piece it didn't seem to fit my own particular circumstances. As a tomboy, I rebelled against that stuff from day dot! Did telling yourself to relax work at all, Patti?
I think a lot of women have a hard time receiving. In all walks of life we are expected to give. As a wife, a mother, a daughter, a worker. Our needs become "what needs?". I've recently started to prioritise my needs more. The slow walk home from the bus. The lie in at a weekend. The expectation that my husband will help with the housework and I won't feel guilty about chasing him to do his bit. It seems to help.
I bought my ex-wife a massage and aromatherapy session at a local parlour. Full body, half day thing. Sauna. Facial. Everything a side street salon would do rather than a residential weekend job. Couldn't afford that much. But it was a birthday present. And two vouchers so she could take a friend (they had a BOGOF so...)
She thought it was incredibly sensitive and generous of me. She enjoyed it thoroughly.
I knew she would. She's into these things.
She decided to return the favour for my birthday. Voucher for a massage etc. same place. She'd asked if they did men.
I'm not an ungrateful receiver. She's the awkward one. Blows up if the gift falls short of her mood that day.
But I gave her the voucher to use herself. It's not my thing at all. And what's worse it was just the one voucher. The offer wasn't on when she bought it. So I ended up paying for a second voucher so she could take her mate again. And I had to do this to make up for offending her by refusing a gift.
Just what happened there? I still can't figure it.
Berkeley CA? You'd have been in Zodiac territory. Can't remember when you left the US. Probably wrong.
Anyway it always amazes me how different each person's sex history is. For instance, my 1st time out I got crabs. Made me hesitant. I needed lots of kisses to get further in the mood for a few years after. Many wonderful experiences later tho
So much in this piece, Ros. 👏🏼❤️🙏🏼I’m an inner child specialist and know well all the pains and defensive protective patterns you describe, mostly through my clients. You articulate them so well. OMG. Thank you for your vulnerability and gifts that are shared with us here❤️🙏🏼
I do have a hard time receiving. Then just recently I told myself just relax. He has no problem receiving. Why not me? Big difference
I had a whole paragraph ready to go on how women are trained as girls to be givers rather than receivers, but in the flow of writing this piece it didn't seem to fit my own particular circumstances. As a tomboy, I rebelled against that stuff from day dot! Did telling yourself to relax work at all, Patti?
Yes. I have to keep telling myself it’s ok. It’s ok….
I think a lot of women have a hard time receiving. In all walks of life we are expected to give. As a wife, a mother, a daughter, a worker. Our needs become "what needs?". I've recently started to prioritise my needs more. The slow walk home from the bus. The lie in at a weekend. The expectation that my husband will help with the housework and I won't feel guilty about chasing him to do his bit. It seems to help.
I bought my ex-wife a massage and aromatherapy session at a local parlour. Full body, half day thing. Sauna. Facial. Everything a side street salon would do rather than a residential weekend job. Couldn't afford that much. But it was a birthday present. And two vouchers so she could take a friend (they had a BOGOF so...)
She thought it was incredibly sensitive and generous of me. She enjoyed it thoroughly.
I knew she would. She's into these things.
She decided to return the favour for my birthday. Voucher for a massage etc. same place. She'd asked if they did men.
I'm not an ungrateful receiver. She's the awkward one. Blows up if the gift falls short of her mood that day.
But I gave her the voucher to use herself. It's not my thing at all. And what's worse it was just the one voucher. The offer wasn't on when she bought it. So I ended up paying for a second voucher so she could take her mate again. And I had to do this to make up for offending her by refusing a gift.
Just what happened there? I still can't figure it.
Berkeley CA? You'd have been in Zodiac territory. Can't remember when you left the US. Probably wrong.
Anyway it always amazes me how different each person's sex history is. For instance, my 1st time out I got crabs. Made me hesitant. I needed lots of kisses to get further in the mood for a few years after. Many wonderful experiences later tho