The type of men that annoy me just as much the stereotypical asshole men are the sycophants who bend over backwards to be the kind of man they think a woman would like. The kind who hang out at Yoga classes and never miss a chance to tell women we're goddesses. Must be nice to let your inner female show when your outer one is still making a male salary and has an actual chance to be president.
I always thought Deepak Chopra was a fuckwit. He always acted totally up himself whenever I saw him. Fake spirituality. That said, I'm sure there are many people on the list that will surprise me.
“The “male loneliness epidemic” is rebranded the “male consequences epidemic.” <— wow, so much power in this. you’re right, they basically went too far and told us the truth. they have always resented us. i can move forward without so much baggage i thought was me.
“we’ll not make you a sandwich” you always manage to make me laugh even when the content is heavy. Yes please to this being the peak. You are correct. This moment is clarifying.
I remember my husband and I applying for our first visa. We still have that account from our original bank. He’s the primary cardholder. They wouldn’t let me be primary, even though he told them he didn’t want to be primary, even though he’s hopeless with money and business of any kind. I handle everything like that - mortgages, loans, regular banking, and organizing the household. But he’s an amazing cook, a tidy freak, and loves to take care of me. It will be 44 yrs on December 19th.
That's a great testament to your husband. Stupid of the damn bank, though. I do all the finances here; I'm also blessed to have an amazing cook for a husband whose number one concern is looking after my every need. Good men exist; I have a feeling they're much harder to find these days, though.
I feel like we're (somewhat) living parallel lives on each side of the pond! Both do the finances, both have husbands who like to cook, both write... 😊
We moved to Utah just a few years ago. Spouse and I had careers arcs that meant who the “primary” breadwinner has changed. When we purchased our home, I applied for the mortgage. My name was first on the real estate contract. I was first on the deed. Our county sent the property tax bill to male spouse’s full legal name and WF. WTF is a WF? Wife. I didn’t even get a name. Next example: We have purchased a new vehicles. On both oans and loan applications my name was first, both times. Both vehicles are registered in HIS name.
Brilliant. Thanks for all the great references and memes. Best rabbit hole to go down this morning. I saw the great bluesman Keb’ Mo’ last night and when she sang his lovely song, “Put a woman in charge,” I wept. We had not one but two chances in recent years. Oh what might have been.
“Women can do anything, so long as they can take the abuse.”
It’s hard to believe how warped our world actually is at times. I am ashamed to say how naive I was a decade ago. The cloud of uncertainty continues to lift and the realization is this: It is still even worse than we think.
The question remains: What are we going to do about it?!
We each of us do what we can according to our time, energy and skillset, plus where we operate. So the answer will be different for those in politics, business, charity work, etc etc. In my case, given my skillset is purely communication, it will be to write and talk about what's happening as clearly as possible, and to create, with words, a hopeful vision of the future that we can program into our metaphorical SatNavs.
Well, thank the lord I'm English not American. I've not been caught up in this mess. If I'm ever recruiting a new assistant manager or supervisor, and two candidates interview equally well, I'll give the job to a woman. They seem to have more common sense than men. Not only that, they work harder to prove themselves. And, in Britain, men and women are paid the same at that level. So I'm not saving money by employing a woman. My favourite boss, I worked for? A woman. To me, she was a mentor, a mother, and a big sister. She was lovely. But like everyone else, I would have been scared to get on her wrong side. Damn! She could be frightening. She's retired now, but we're friends on Facebook. It’s her birthday in a few days time. She'll get a more heartfelt greeting than most other women friends. In fact, most of my best friends have been female. You get better conversation. If you talk to a guy, once you've finished talking about football (soccer) there's very little left to talk about.
In this regard, we're kindred spirits, Geoff, and outliers among men. The vast majority of my friends and close friends are women, and it's been that way since grammar school. I wouldn't change it, even if I could. I find the women I know to be more interesting, more sympathetic, more aware, and more intelligent than most men I know.
I'm a Brit too, though I can tell you that misogyny is pretty much an International affair. But my husband agrees with you: most of his friends are women.
It never ceases to amaze me how (a lot of) men speak about women. And orange Adolph has certainly given those men permission to hate away. Both The Economist AND The New York Times have in the last few weeks published claims thar 'women ruin the workplace' and ' 'liberals feminism ruined the workplace'.
Taking hating women to a new level. Very visible. It does makes it easier to spot. But it doesn't feel better on that account. Hatred is hatred however you put it.
It’s funny how almost all of the men and women who blame “feminism” for everything actually just hate women and “feminism” could be replaced with “women” in the majority of their complaints.
Fuck Deepak Chopra and the rest of them. Thank you for putting this piece together. I don’t do social media so would have missed much of these encouraging links. That big Frenchman gets it. Keep fighting everyone.
So great Ros. It's not often that I click every link in an article. Thanks for all the introductions. Here's my prediction on the Epstein files: He will not release them, of course. Trump will stall, claim the investigation he just opened prevents him... yada, yada. And this, leaning into the tactics that always worked before, will finish him. Oh, that moment when it all stops working... Many of us have already been in our own, less toxic version. I want a forensic accounting of all four bank accounts and consequences for everyone, even the money launderers who enabled. I want the whole cabal that Q-Anon predicted dragged into the light of day. It's the one thing the left and the right in the U.S. agree on wholeheartedly. I'm saying right now: It's going to happen. Though he will try to prevent it, he will not succeed. This, I think, will be our moment of silence, when we all just are stunned dead like the old myths of death and rebirth (see Inanna) say. Because I think it's more terrible than we guess.
That's a very wholehearted upvote, Susan. So glad you enjoyed all the links. I enjoyed collecting them. Yes, imagine how much will be buried when THIS is what we see!
I have been around a while. This reminds me of the “click” made famous in article in MS magazine around 1970. Recognizing what men were doing to us. Keep up the good fight.
I don't know the reference but yes, awareness of what's happening is bringing a big resurgence. I thought a few years ago we soon wouldn't need feminism anymore. How wrong I was!
I've been saying for some time now that breeding these kinds of men out is the only real solution, a la Sheri S. Tepper's "The Gate to Women's Country."
The type of men that annoy me just as much the stereotypical asshole men are the sycophants who bend over backwards to be the kind of man they think a woman would like. The kind who hang out at Yoga classes and never miss a chance to tell women we're goddesses. Must be nice to let your inner female show when your outer one is still making a male salary and has an actual chance to be president.
So sad that in order to do either of those pathways they abandon the truth of who they are.
Totally - those “feminists” by appropriation 🤮
O fuck, me too!
I have a feeling you wanted a comma in there, Isa! Unless you're here looking for sex 😂
You assume correctly! At least we know I’m not AI 🤣
I always thought Deepak Chopra was a fuckwit. He always acted totally up himself whenever I saw him. Fake spirituality. That said, I'm sure there are many people on the list that will surprise me.
Nah. I never liked him either and was pretty unimpressed with what I read of his book. I am rarely surprised by who shows up as flawed these days.
“The “male loneliness epidemic” is rebranded the “male consequences epidemic.” <— wow, so much power in this. you’re right, they basically went too far and told us the truth. they have always resented us. i can move forward without so much baggage i thought was me.
Yes, it’s very freeing. They’ve done this to themselves and we can put the responsibility where it belongs.
“we’ll not make you a sandwich” you always manage to make me laugh even when the content is heavy. Yes please to this being the peak. You are correct. This moment is clarifying.
Humour is never far from the table, Gillian. How else do we get through these stupid times?
I remember my husband and I applying for our first visa. We still have that account from our original bank. He’s the primary cardholder. They wouldn’t let me be primary, even though he told them he didn’t want to be primary, even though he’s hopeless with money and business of any kind. I handle everything like that - mortgages, loans, regular banking, and organizing the household. But he’s an amazing cook, a tidy freak, and loves to take care of me. It will be 44 yrs on December 19th.
That's a great testament to your husband. Stupid of the damn bank, though. I do all the finances here; I'm also blessed to have an amazing cook for a husband whose number one concern is looking after my every need. Good men exist; I have a feeling they're much harder to find these days, though.
I feel like we're (somewhat) living parallel lives on each side of the pond! Both do the finances, both have husbands who like to cook, both write... 😊
We moved to Utah just a few years ago. Spouse and I had careers arcs that meant who the “primary” breadwinner has changed. When we purchased our home, I applied for the mortgage. My name was first on the real estate contract. I was first on the deed. Our county sent the property tax bill to male spouse’s full legal name and WF. WTF is a WF? Wife. I didn’t even get a name. Next example: We have purchased a new vehicles. On both oans and loan applications my name was first, both times. Both vehicles are registered in HIS name.
Coverture. Legal and finance haven’t yet caught up with this century.
In this day and age? I thought that had changed! Ugh.
Brilliant. Thanks for all the great references and memes. Best rabbit hole to go down this morning. I saw the great bluesman Keb’ Mo’ last night and when she sang his lovely song, “Put a woman in charge,” I wept. We had not one but two chances in recent years. Oh what might have been.
Indeed. Especially the last one; just heartbreaking. Thanks, Julie, I'm glad you enjoyed the rabbit hole!
“Women can do anything, so long as they can take the abuse.”
It’s hard to believe how warped our world actually is at times. I am ashamed to say how naive I was a decade ago. The cloud of uncertainty continues to lift and the realization is this: It is still even worse than we think.
The question remains: What are we going to do about it?!
We each of us do what we can according to our time, energy and skillset, plus where we operate. So the answer will be different for those in politics, business, charity work, etc etc. In my case, given my skillset is purely communication, it will be to write and talk about what's happening as clearly as possible, and to create, with words, a hopeful vision of the future that we can program into our metaphorical SatNavs.
Well, thank the lord I'm English not American. I've not been caught up in this mess. If I'm ever recruiting a new assistant manager or supervisor, and two candidates interview equally well, I'll give the job to a woman. They seem to have more common sense than men. Not only that, they work harder to prove themselves. And, in Britain, men and women are paid the same at that level. So I'm not saving money by employing a woman. My favourite boss, I worked for? A woman. To me, she was a mentor, a mother, and a big sister. She was lovely. But like everyone else, I would have been scared to get on her wrong side. Damn! She could be frightening. She's retired now, but we're friends on Facebook. It’s her birthday in a few days time. She'll get a more heartfelt greeting than most other women friends. In fact, most of my best friends have been female. You get better conversation. If you talk to a guy, once you've finished talking about football (soccer) there's very little left to talk about.
In this regard, we're kindred spirits, Geoff, and outliers among men. The vast majority of my friends and close friends are women, and it's been that way since grammar school. I wouldn't change it, even if I could. I find the women I know to be more interesting, more sympathetic, more aware, and more intelligent than most men I know.
I wish you and Geoff weren't outliers but it certainly feels this way!
I'm a Brit too, though I can tell you that misogyny is pretty much an International affair. But my husband agrees with you: most of his friends are women.
N.C. , yes, that hurts.
Took my breath away.
I studied linguistics. He was one of my heroes.
Hi Ross
It never ceases to amaze me how (a lot of) men speak about women. And orange Adolph has certainly given those men permission to hate away. Both The Economist AND The New York Times have in the last few weeks published claims thar 'women ruin the workplace' and ' 'liberals feminism ruined the workplace'.
Taking hating women to a new level. Very visible. It does makes it easier to spot. But it doesn't feel better on that account. Hatred is hatred however you put it.
Yes, it’s horrible to witness. But the backlash to the backlash is real. There will be consequences.
Oh, I hope so!
It’s funny how almost all of the men and women who blame “feminism” for everything actually just hate women and “feminism” could be replaced with “women” in the majority of their complaints.
This is 100% true.
Fuck Deepak Chopra and the rest of them. Thank you for putting this piece together. I don’t do social media so would have missed much of these encouraging links. That big Frenchman gets it. Keep fighting everyone.
Yes indeed, Kristin. Really glad you enjoyed the links.
So great Ros. It's not often that I click every link in an article. Thanks for all the introductions. Here's my prediction on the Epstein files: He will not release them, of course. Trump will stall, claim the investigation he just opened prevents him... yada, yada. And this, leaning into the tactics that always worked before, will finish him. Oh, that moment when it all stops working... Many of us have already been in our own, less toxic version. I want a forensic accounting of all four bank accounts and consequences for everyone, even the money launderers who enabled. I want the whole cabal that Q-Anon predicted dragged into the light of day. It's the one thing the left and the right in the U.S. agree on wholeheartedly. I'm saying right now: It's going to happen. Though he will try to prevent it, he will not succeed. This, I think, will be our moment of silence, when we all just are stunned dead like the old myths of death and rebirth (see Inanna) say. Because I think it's more terrible than we guess.
That's a very wholehearted upvote, Susan. So glad you enjoyed all the links. I enjoyed collecting them. Yes, imagine how much will be buried when THIS is what we see!
That's right. It curls the toes, and yet, see it, we must.
Societal change begins with shaming the transgressors, which is hard to do in this shameless moment. But there are glimmers of hope that it’s passing.
Definitely, Steve. I believe it.
I have been around a while. This reminds me of the “click” made famous in article in MS magazine around 1970. Recognizing what men were doing to us. Keep up the good fight.
I don't know the reference but yes, awareness of what's happening is bringing a big resurgence. I thought a few years ago we soon wouldn't need feminism anymore. How wrong I was!
I've been saying for some time now that breeding these kinds of men out is the only real solution, a la Sheri S. Tepper's "The Gate to Women's Country."
I've not read that, thanks for recommending.